I nod and then realize they can’t see me. “Okay, can you keep talking, please.” I can’t hide the desperation in my voice. I need this to be real, even if I have lost my mind, it can be real in my head for as long as possible. It’s the only thing that keeps me moving forward.
They each take turns telling me stories, some are stupid and completely made up and others are just what happened at the training compound recently. I tell them about what I see and when I come across a human’s scent. It lets me know when I am getting too close to a hiking trail or campground. And as much as I would love to see real people, it’s the last thing I need when I am in my wolf form and have a half unconscious person riding on my back.
I finally get to a large body of water that has cut a deep ravine through this section of mountain. I stop and sit letting Jena slide off with a thud.
“Ow! Rude. A little warning next time.” I focus on shifting back, then look at her. She is still really pale.
“How are you? I ask tentatively, moving towards the water to get a drink. I cup my hands intending to take a small sip, but once the cool liquid passes my lips a frenzy takes over and I keep scooping up handfuls until my stomach hurts. When I look back, Jena still hasn’t moved. She is just staring out at the water. “You need to drink, it will make you feel better to have clean water for the first time in probably a year.” She still doesn’t move.
I walk over to her and place a hand gently on her shoulder and she startles looking at me like she’s never seen me before. I don’t say a word, words won’t help her right now. Her mind has just started processing that she is out and probably the safest she has been in a very long time. The shock is starting to set in. I reach my hand down to her and smile and just wait for her to decide to take it. I won’t make any decisions for her. She has to choose to heal and get better, which means she has to choose to trust me out here, like I trusted her in our prison.
She slowly lifts her hand to mine and lets me pull her up, we walk hand in hand like that to the edge of the water and kneel together. I take my hands and scoop some water and take a small drink, then she mimics me like a pup trying to do it for the first time. She does the same thing I did at first and just keeps taking in the delicious liquid like a child eating ice cream for the first time.
She sits back and lets the cool water lap at her feet. I do the same. It is nothing a human would be fit to swim in but the temperature feels great to us. I start to wash at my dirt caked feet and then the exposed portions of my arms and finally my face. Jena does the same. The clean cool water is invigorating in more than one way.
I just need to find a cave big enough for the two of us, up high enough that most humans won’t come near it, and be able to start a fire to keep us comfortable as the night inevitably cools down.
It took us a little bit of time to find something suitable, but this seemed to be something that Jena was able to help me with. So she is at least trying and not lost in her head over the memories of the last year. We get a little fire going just outside the entrance and I let the team know what to look for and to approach with caution if they come in the night. I don’t know how Jena is going to react to strangers rushing at us, even if they are here to help.
