His avoidance of me shouldn’t hurt, it’s been like this my whole life. He only talks to me when he absolutely has to in front of other high ranking wolves for appearance. But, every time he outwardly and blatantly rejected me I felt that familiar jab in my heart and all of my insecurities would haunt me for days after.
I became more obsessed with training and school work, avoiding people, including Sierra and my brother after that interaction shortly after the christmas holiday. Something they both noticed and questioned and I expertly avoided talking about. My room and anything I used in the house had to be spotless and meticulously put away. The sad part is am fully aware of what I’m doing and why, but I can’t help myself and I can’t go to anyone for help. How would that make my dad look in the eyes of his peers? The peers he’s been putting on a show for my whole existence.
Ruining his reputation would make the emotional hell I have been going through completely worthless and I don’t need to feel anymore like an unwanted problem. And as much as I should be mad at him or hate him, I just can’t bring myself to make him look bad, hoping one day he will wake up and notice all the hard work and effort I put in to please him, to make him happy, proud of me. As long as there is that scrap of a chance, I will hold onto that hope. It took several days
for Sierra to pull me, mostly, out of the obsessive behavior. Really, I think I just got better at hiding it from her.
I shake my head out of the dark memories and keep working on the breakfast spread. I really do like having Sierra and all the guys here. I find I enjoy caring for the group as a whole. They make me laugh and forget about all the things I normally focus on everyday. I actually feel like a teenager during this time and I find I have relaxed into the friendships the longer I am around all of them. My dad’s demands don’t exist, Kaley and her bully patrol doesn’t exist, schoolwork doesn’t exist. It’s almost magical.
The front door slams, I jump and I look at the time. It’s not quite Sam and I’m not even halfway into prepping all the food. What the hell is going on? The commotion in the hallway tells me it’s at least a few of the guys. Their sounds are pretty distinct. I start to walk out to tell them to be quiet, I haven’t even gotten Mateo up yet and my dad will actually be pissed at the ruckus this early. I slowly walk down the hallway and into the entrp.“ay.
“Guys? What ar-”
“SURPRISE!” A whole group of people shout at me.
“Oh I yelled and then clapped my hand over my mouth as I’m trying not to fall on my butt in front of everyone.
Sierra ran up to me first, catching me in a hug. “A little birdie told me It was your birthday today and we thought we would surprise you. We brought breakfast, I hope you haven’t already started cooking.” She steps back and takes in my running clothes. I don’t usually shower or change since we go and workout with the pups, which leaves us disgusting.
“Um, uh, I just started getting things together.” I am super confused and disoriented. We don’t celebrate my birthday, never have. It’s the day my mom died, the day I killed her, and that is the only part my dad remembers about today. Mateo used to make me cards when we were little. He would never sign them or say anything about it, but I knew it was him. Once we hit about eleven though and he started focusing on his position, those stopped.
“Um, come on in, we can set it up on the island.” I led the group down the hall and stood off to the side watching the parade come into the kitchen.
Mateo comes strolling in with the rest of the guys. He was a part of this? Did he tell them? I can feel my heart tighten at the thought. Then all the adults come through. Alpha Lucas and Luna Ava have 2 large platters of fruit and pastries, Cam and Dakota are each carrying a tray of food. Gamma Brett follows Oliver in with a very large pan that is steaming. Delta Kyle and Gwen come in ahead of Sam and they are all carrying balloons and a vase of flowers. Sierra’s Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Robert bring up the rear with another steaming pan.
